Ever since the kids started school and we got more limited to traveling only on their school holidays, the kids and I have spent most of the long summer holidays in Scandinavia.
And every year after those long summer holidays, I've come back suffering from the same kind of feeling - the "European hangover" as one friend so eloquently put it once. That feeling of having traveled back so quickly physically, but mentally still be somewhere in Scandinavia/Europe living a completely different life.
I've never been sad to be back in the everyday humdrum, I like the routine. As much as I would like to think of myself as spontanious and chilled, I think both the kids and I thrive in the everyday life. It was just always the adjustment that took a little while, normally a few days.
This year it was something else than just the normal blues though. I came back with a strong feeling of - "I don't want to live here anymore".
It's no secret, I haven't been very happy here. Many people do LOVE it here but life in the UAE just doesn't seem to be a good fit for me.
I have given it two and a half years and I feel like I've tried. I really have. Just the other day after rugby we decided to stay after practice (for only the second time, we normally go straight home), to have dinner at the pub together with one of the other really nice rugby families. Only to find out they are leaving in December... *Aaargghh*.
Everyone is leaving. Even my best friend here is leaving in just a few weeks too. But I've found myself ignoring that fact completely, as I have no idea what I'll do with myself once she's gone. That sucks so bad. So bad.
Anyway, I'm not alone in this. I have a family, I can't just pick up and leave. We have to make it work. Somehow.
While we are working on a plan, at least I'm happy to notice that I've managed to find some joy in life again lately. It's not just that we have started to have really lovely weather finally, that the Zumba has picked up again and I have some regular slots in my schedule or that I'm really busy with and enjoying the Tourist Guide course.
Something has changed.
All of a sudden it felt like someone had flicked a big switch, and there in the light I could see all the things I am thankful for. Life has got a little bit of it's glitter back.
So let there be light.