Thursday, 30 August 2018

That sad September

We've been back almost a full week from this years summer holidays, and I guess it's about time to write that 'Hey we're back!'-post. Not that I haven't had time, ha ha, time is all I have; more because I haven't really wanted to.
Last year, I experienced my return was different to the years before and I was feeling happy and upbeat. (In hindsight, it was probably because I had just spent nearly TWELVE weeks with the kids 24/7 more than anything else, ha ha!)

This year, I feel I'm back to square one, or even minus fifteen or whatever the expression would be - I am back to feeling exactly like I did in 2015 and 2016, and worse yet. The words ugly, blergh, prison, gloom, boredom, beige and loneliness still resonate very much with me.

We've been back a whole week, and I've seen one friend for coffee, the neighbours came over for a G&T one evening and... well... I've been to the supermarket once and to the movies once. The rest of the time, I've mostly been sat here, as per usual. Making time pass, trying to figure out how I'll get through this soggy September, before the weather calms down a bit, job picks up a bit and life happens again.

I've stopped being hopeful that things might change, instead I focus on what I can rely on:
I can rely on feeling better when I can go outside and not melt away; I can rely on feeling accomplished when I'll start guiding again. I also rely on knowing that I enjoy so much having guests, and since we'll have four different families come over during October and November it'll be a fun and busy fall.
I just have to get through "Sad September"...

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