Tired and wired

I have quite a few things to blog about, and I will (delayed posts), but for now there is really only one thing to write about.... I write, because I want to remember this when, hopefully, it all becomes a distant memory. 

Two weeks ago Nathan had flown off to London in the night, and I was at work. Around 1pm we started getting the first text messages that something was going on, that the US had bombed Iran. At first we didn't think much about it, I guess we didn't realize what it all meant; but very quickly it became clear that this was SERIOUS.
Kathleen and I had to go out to her car to fetch her reading glasses she had left behind, and while outside we heard three LOUD bangs. We didn't see anything, and everyone was acting normally, like it was building noise or something. Probably most people weren't aware at this time. We hurried back inside, and the situation quickly became rather unsettled. We were told that if we were uncomfortable we could go home. So we left around 4pm, and I felt much calmer once I arrived back at home.

From then on messages kept coming in fast, we all checked in on each other in the neighbourhood, and we all just kind of hunkered down as no one quite knew what was going on. Nathan of course, was stuck where he was, as the air space had closed completely. There was a flood of messages and concerns as well from overseas, and I tried to respond as well as I could to calm people down - that I was ok.
Schools directly went to online school, and Spring Break was even moved forward a week. 
I packed a go-bag, and talked through evacuation plans together with the Turners, if it would come to that. A surreal feeling walking around in your home, trying to think about what the most precious things would be that I just couldn't leave behind...

We started getting very loud Emergency Alerts on our phones each time there was a new threat incoming. It really gave some serious Covid flashbacks (from the curfew alerts)... especially as Sunday was rather heavy on the threats. There was one in the morning before I went over to Will and Tash for morning coffee, and in the afternoon there was one lasting for nearly two hours. Not fun. Sunday evening I was invited back to Turners for dinner. Nice to not be alone, and it felt safe to go as I can get to their place through the parking garage in the basement. The alerts tell us to seek shelter, basically go inside, and stay away from windows. Throughout the night there was another very long session lasting between 1.30 and 4am, some booms were so loud that the windows shuttered. Not much sleep that night...

We were quickly told that the loud booms we kept hearing were "good" noises, meaning that the incoming missiles gets intercepted. I really didn't think that I was going to become an expert in missile noises, and be able to differentiate between launch sounds, interceptions and impacts... but here we are. 

It has been bizarre. At the same time as many people were scrambling to evacuate, most via Muscat, some via Saudi, and some of our neighbours would run down and camp out in the basement at every alert; life has been going on as normal. People have been spending time on the beach or at the playground, everything from supermarkets and cafés to the theme parks and the museums have stayed open - business as usual.

We have now had daily attacks for two weeks.
The first week I didn't go to work. Instead Tash and I checked with each other every day, with morning coffee at my place or hers. We gathered for dinner at theirs, at mine and at Matt's. I went for walks around the neighbourhood, close to being able to shelter if need be. Tried to keep busy by doing puzzles, reading and watching a lot of TV. 

Friday afternoon I crashed out, and had to put myself to bed. It was like every system in me completely stopped working. I guess consistently feeling on high alert finally took its toll, I was completely drained.

Saturday morning I felt better, and was going to work. Kathleen picked me up, but we only made it to the traffic light before we got an alert and had to u-turn. We could see the interceptions overhead, so we sheltered in the Waitrose car park, and waited for the Safe Alert before we could drive off.
Work has been very quiet. Not many visitors at all, but we are there anyway to cover the daily tours on offer. As it is still Ramadan, at least the work day is not very long, and the extra free time we get is welcomed for studying and research.

Saturday night I didn't sleep much again as there was three alerts in the evening, and Nathan was supposed to fly out of London at around 1am my time. I followed him on FlightRadar and he did make it back all good, and home before I had to go to work. In the evening we had Will, Tash, Matt, Ashley and Browny over at our for a pizza night, good to be all together. 
I am so grateful for our friends, they have been gold through all of this.

Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday I have been at work as well. Some days we had alerts in the morning, some  days in the middle of the work day (good thing our offices down in the basement are some of the safest places in the whole museum!) and some in the evening. The other night was the first time in a week when they came throughout the night as well, but they are less and less. 

The airspace has slowly opened up, allowing a few selected flights to operate through what they call safe air corridors. All air traffic is coordinated between civil aviation and defense and constantly monitored, all aircraft depart using pre-approved routes that are cleared using military radar data. 

Life continues. As normal as it can be. We are in a situation where we are safe. The interceptions are loud but successful, and we are provided alerts before they happen. We are grateful that the defense system is working so well. We have water, food, power and WiFi; but, there is of course still a lot of uncertainty.
We are safe, but feeling safe and settled are two different things.

Momancholy

It has been a bit quiet on the blog for the past few weeks, since Linnea left. I haven't done much else really than work, come home, eat dinner, see TV and sleep. Nathan and I are going away next week for a short trip, so making the most of getting some time in at the museum before then.

When I am here at home I walk around a little aimlessly, feeling sad for no particular reason, and keep thinking of old memories. It is quite weird here at home without Linnea. I keep waiting for her to come bouncing down the stairs in the evenings to make a cup of tea or some popcorn. It has been a big change for us both, to have our last child leave us. It was really very brutal and abrupt to just put on her on a plane, and say "See you at Christmas!". When you live this expat life, it's not like your kids can come home for a fika every now and then, for Sunday roast or to get their laundry done. It is very definite.

But, we actually talk more to her now than we have done all together I think the past two years. We text all the time and Zoom every day. She is doing ok with her Au Pair family, but of course it is not so easy to just go out and find friends, so she has been feeling a little bit lonely. It will take time, but we are sure she will find her feet properly soon. We will continue to be there for as long as she needs us (and beyond!), and hope that the momancholy feelings subside as well with time.

Old lady issues

Even though Nathan was the one stepping into a new decade on the weekend, it's me who has been having some age-related (?) issues lately... Two weeks ago, after having been sitting for a moment on my bed scrolling through my phone, I stood up again. I had pins and needles in my foot, and must've put my weight on it in a funny way, because it went 'crack!' rather loudly. Ouch!

Luckily we have a clinic right here in the compound, so after a few hours of icing the ankle, we decided to go check so that it wasn't broken. It wasn't.
But the orthopedist still wrapped me up like this:

At first I thought it was a bit overkill for a sprained ankle. But, almost two weeks later it still looks like this:

The half-cast was only on for a few days. I got medicine for the swelling and the pain, and once the cast came off I got myself a strong support brace. Although it is so uncomfortable and makes it hard to wear shoes. So at the moment I just walk very slowly and carefully, and in a straight line, not to bend or cause strain on the ankle at all.

Getting hurt really makes you appreciate your health and fitness.

Return and reset

Linnea and I were really happy to have got (finally) some beautiful summer days, to end our holiday. Copenhagen was great, as per usual. It was a bit sad to say goodbye to Lucas, but it was time to get home. We were both ready.

We got back home on the Thursday night, after having had an overnight at Brussels airport on the way. A long way home really, but (hopefully) the last time traveling via Europe; can't wait to have our direct Copenhagen flights start on the 1st of October!

Nathan was working all Friday, and then HE left for Copenhagen on Friday night - going to enjoy his August leave week. So we barely even had time to catch up.

I spent my Friday unpacking and tidying up, and - resetting the house for fall. I know, early, but since school is starting and summer holiday is over, it is fall in our home.

My amazing stick sculpture from Vildhjärta survived the trip carefully wrapped in my hand luggage. It's now on my desk so I can enjoy it every day! Isn't he cute?

Emotional

I have been really emotional the past week getting ready for the move. I feel like my skin is really thin, and my emotions are all over the place.

We have spent nearly nine years in this house, all our time here in Abu Dhabi. Nathan moved in a few weeks before the kids and I arrived, with a bed, a sofa, the fridge, the BBQ and the TV. All he needed.
We arrived on a Monday night, and five days later our shipping came from Brunei at the same day as all the furniture we had bought from IKEA - it was literally like a pop-up house.

I know it probably doesn't bother him, but I feel rather sad that Lucas didn't quite get to say goodbye to the house when he left in August. He departed with one suitcase, to start his new life, expecting to come back home at Christmas; and now, he will come back to "our" home, not his. A brand new place, that doesn't have a room that is his, only a guest room. It's weird, it feels like we are leaving all our memories as a family behind, as we leave this house.

I have had to pack up Lucas' room and sort it out. Some things have been packed up for posterity, for one day when he might have his own kids, or at least his own home. Other things have been packed up for him to go through when he comes back, as he wasn't able to bring everything with him in one go in the summer. It has made me really soppy and emotional.

I have actually been living in two houses in every country since I met Nathan. First my apartment in Copenhagen, then we moved together in his. In England we were first in the cottage in the countryside, then in Horsham; and in Brunei we stayed almost a year in Rimba before moving to Simpang 1058 where we saw out our time there.
Now we are swopping out our KCA villa for an apartment in Al Zeina; and I'm sure it will be absolutely fine, once we have moved in and made it a bit homely.

But still, it's sad leaving this place. It has been good to us and given us many lovely memories.

So, does the house feel empty now?

I have had this question many times since we got back from the summer holiday and left Lucas behind at Uni, "Does it feel empty in the house now?". A question that takes more than a 'yes' and a 'no' to answer, and also something that is harder to talk about some days than others, depending on mood.

Of course, there is a different atmosphere in our house, since we are missing a piece of our family in our daily life. It's a different constellation of people now.
But - at the same time, is the house emptier? Not really. Even when Lucas was here, he was at school all day, or he spent his time in his room studying (or playing PS5) or hanging out with his friends. Since he took his drivers license he was also more independent. Sure, there was more laundry then, ha ha, and one more person to feed at dinner, but the house is equally empty now as then.

On the other hand, there are many, many other things I'm struggling with, having "lost" my first child.
I'm struggling with how fast time went, it seems like just the other day he was bawling his eyes out every morning I left him at school, and had to be pulled from my arms by his teacher - just to be perfectly fine as I turned the building and secretly watched him through the window...
I guess I feel a bit cheated of the past two years as well, of all that we "missed" because of Covid. Those years just happened, without really happening. I feel like we missed out on those last experiences we were supposed to have together, the last family trips, the last things I wanted to show him; as we couldn't travel as we had planned.

I'm struggling with closing the chapter on his childhood. Did we do enough? Did we equip him properly for the big, bad world? Did we manage to bring up a decent human being? Have we made it clear that we will continue to love and support him no matter what he does or where he goes, does he know?

He seems to be living his best life, his Uni-course is going well, he has made friends in school, he has got himself a job on the side; and it works well where he is living. Our friends back home who have caught up with him tells us what a lovely young man he has become, and it warms our heart. He has truly spread his wings, and he is soaring - and we couldn't be prouder.

He has also been traveling a little bit. First he went up to Skara to see Mormor and Morfar over a long weekend, which of course made me really happy. He planned it all himself, and it made me so happy, that they got that time together, without the rest of us.

Another weekend he was invited by Thomas to join him and his kids for a weekend on Bornholm. I have never been to Bornholm, but would love to go so I was so happy for him!
He sent us really nice photos over the weekend, of all the adventures they were up to, trekking, sightseeing, nice dinners, watching the sunset on the beach.

But I got the most happy to receive these kind of texts:

Not only does he know what makes his Mamma happy, but he was actually taking in the sights and their information, showing an interest. I must have done something right all these years, trying to get the kids a bit culturally interested. That's my boy! ♥︎

So even though sometimes it just feels like he is still here just hiding in his room, of course it's empty without him, and I miss him like crazy. Every age of him in fact, I can't believe I have a grown up kid!
But, this is life, and while I try to navigate this next chapter of my life a bit on wobbly legs, I am so glad that he is thriving in his.

Halfway point

We are about halfway through what I usually call 'Sad September', as I usually feel rather down this time of the year. Although this year it all feels quite different. It's actually been rather busy, so I haven't had time to be too sad, nor about September - not even about Lucas not being here.
For sure it has created a new dynamic just being the three of us in the house, and sometimes it feels like Lucas is just up in his room, or out with friends. We do miss him lots obviously, but we are at the same time so excited for him and this new life he is creating for himself.

We love hearing from him about all the things that he is up to and we are cheering him on each step he takes towards his independence. I can tell you - he is certainly growing and advancing fast!
Uni has started with a bang but he seems to be on top of it all really nicely, and most importantly - he seems to be enjoying his course. He has got himself a job at a Brewpub/Restaurant where he can work a few shifts a week to get some extra pocket money. He has met and befriended new people, and have been out and about just living life, and seems to have lots going on. Oh to be young again..!

Linnea has really got on top of her school work for DP already from day 1, which is a great. The fall term always seem a bit heavier with new subjects, teachers, routines and class mates, and less holidays to interrupt the flow. So it's a good thing she so intent on staying focused, she's really off to a good start.

Not only have I been up at the Louvre Abu Dhabi working already quite a few days this month, but we have a new temporary exhibition coming up in less than a month, so I have plenty of study material to go through for that.
There really is no time to sit around and be bored!
But as any good procrastinator, having this studying hanging over me, has made me start other projects around the house as well... We have for example cleared out, tidied and reorganised all the office drawers, the kitchen and the storage room. Next is Lucas room.

Nathan is off up to Scandinavia soon for a weeks holiday, to catch up with Lucas and bring him some more of his things. Namely his warm jacket, some beanies, scarves and mittens to prepare for the cold..!
This September it's actually all going on!

Happy 15th!

I almost forgot - it's the blog birthday today! I only remembered as I got flashed some 'Memories' on Facebook. The blog is turning FIFTEEN!!! Can you believe it?!

I've been musing regularly for fifteen years now, about our daily life, the ups and downs, the big happenings and the small ones..! I am so happy to have this record, of all the best photos, and all the best stories! And as you might know, not only on the web, but every school year gets printed out as a book!

It ended up being per school year, as I started on the 1st of September, pretty much at the same time as school. Just random really, but now it suits rather well.

So how long will I go on? I don't know. For as long as I enjoy it, as I do write it mostly for myself! At least until Linnea leaves home as well I think. Like that, I have covered almost all of their childhood, and it will be a fantastic gift for them to look back at when they get their own kids.

For the first seven years the blog had another name (obviously, since we lived in another place) - Life in Brunei. If you are keen on reading how it all started, click away here and enjoy a blast from the past..!

Toxic

As I write this we are just about to end another week, and luckily the weekend shaped up rather nice, after a totally miserable week; with a visit to the Expo2020 yesterday (more about that in the next post) and a rather nice trip to the mall with Linnea today. I also played padel Monday and Friday morning. Luckily. Otherwise I wouldn't have left the house at all this week. I have been so miserable. Bored out of my tree. Bored of myself.
Bored of my life.
Bored of LIFE even! Covid. Covid. Covid. It's still all about Covid. So sick of it.

We were supposed to have Game Night this week but had to cancel, as the host had one of their kids home due to close contact. I was supposed to go for a walk with Linda one morning in a new area here in town, but then she had to cancel as one of her kids got sent home being close contact. The whole family was supposed to go for dinner to catch up with some Brunei-friends, but that too had to be canceled, as one of them tested positive that same morning. Aaarrgghh... It is really NEVER-ENDING!

Worst thing is I am really starting to feel toxic. I am avoiding people as not to poison them with my fowl mood and depressive state of mind. I have a really hard time looking at the bright side and enjoying the little things at the moment, a really hard time. This past week sucked big time, it was a long time low-mark.

Next week is looking better, on paper at least - as long as Covid doesn't get in the way then too. Fingers crossed!

1st February 2022 Covid status

I actually can't think of any changes that has happened this month, which affects us personally at the moment. Kids need to do PCRs every 14 days to stay green and go to school, I need it every 7 days to work, and Nathan - well he gets scheduled more often than anyone with work to test at random, so we are well poked up our noses!

Even though weather is absolutely perfect at the moment, the month of January (apart from the birthday celebrations) felt like a long month of just... goo. Both kids are finally back in school face-to-face again since yesterday, but this period of home schooling really felt long and never-ending. Mostly for the Mum I think, a feeling most probably boosted by the fact I haven't been working much this month.
But to be honest I spend a lot of time worrying about the "Covid-generation", how this has and above all will be affecting them, and their psychological health. This isolation and disconnection from one another is really hurtful, for all of us.
I notice it myself every now and then when I get reminded of (and surprised by) how life could be, and feel. Mostly I'm just in a state of constant but functional depression. This melancholy seems to be the biggest part of my personality now, and I certainly didn't use to think of myself as the dispirited person I am now. I do hope I haven't forgot how to live life, once the doom and gloom ends...

Enough musing for now, here are today's numbers:
* 2084 new cases, from 499,836 tests. (Yes, the UAE testing program is processing around half a million tests EVERY DAY!) Worldwide, 373 million people have had Covid.
* 5 new deaths here brings the total death toll in the UAE to 2248.
* 94,15% of the population is now fully vaccinated (which means, have received their 2 doses + booster dose)

Interesting

My friend Linda and I have a favourite word about all the weird and wonderful things that happen in this country, that often amazes us, mostly surprises us, and even bewilders us - "interesting". It really covers most things very well!

This week there was one of those interesting announcements - the UAE is moving their weekend from Friday-Saturday to Saturday-Sunday! So this means there will be a 4,5 day workweek, with Fridays only being half days.
The interesting part here of course is that this news came with only three weeks notice - this change is happening already on the 1st of January!

The change considers government workers and schools to start with, but the private sector is expected to follow suit and adjust their weekends too.
We have already got confirmation that the new-look school week will be introduced already from the start of the next term, which I guess means our Christmas holidays just got extended with one day, ha ha!
Interesting, to say the least.

Optimism?

What is that?! Is that optimism I feel..? Maybe, just a little bit, but very carefully. What a strange feeling!
The weather is still too hot for my taste (and hotter than usual this time of year, I would say), but at least - it's October, it's coming! Sucky September is now behind us and every day we get one day closer to the best time to be here in the UAE - wintertime!

The weekend was really, really lovely, because Nathan was off it felt like a real weekend! Kids hung out with their friends on Thursday night, and Nathan and I went to the movies. First time since pre-Covid, and it was absolutely fab! Sure, watching movies in the comfort of your home is nice, but that's all we have been doing for the past 1,5 years, and I didn't realise how much I'd missed the big screen! The latest James Bond-movie wasn't too bad either, so it was a success.

On Friday we hung out with good friends and had a great night with drinks by the pool, a delicious dinner, competitive ping pong playing and all around socialising and good fun. Just what we all needed, more of that please!

Saturday was down-time day, also well needed as the weeks get more and more intense for each week, for all. This Sunday started with a bang with kids back at school, Nathan at work and me off to Dubai for a whole day at the Expo2020 before I have exam week with one of my UNI-courses ahead of me. Bring it!

Back in black

So, we are back.
In the sandpit.
Back to the normal 50 shades of beige outside. But also back to black, on the inside.

I am back feeling very grateful that the traveling went all smoothly this year (compared to last). Even with the last minute new ICA-application we had to do which came into play the same day we traveled.
I am grateful I managed to keep (most of) the worries away during the summer and didn't waste much time or energy thinking about things out of my control.
I am above all grateful for the summer we had this year, with many more excursions, adventures and happenings than last year; for all the family and friends, the reconnecting - it was absolutely fantastic!

Which makes it that much more hard to be back. Back inside for the next 5-6 weeks or so, back to face masks as soon as we leave the house, back to a huge amount of new restrictions, restrictions which change with a minutes notice; and which doesn't always make sense - can we please have house guests other than family soon?! Back to another year of... - waiting for better times?

I'm glad I have signed up for another three UNI courses this fall. At least I'll have something to occupy myself with, somehow I don't think there will be much tourists coming this season either. I miss work so so so much.
So, back to black. At least for a while before I get back into the swing of things, hopefully perk up and make the most of this beige sandpit life.

Time flies?

As we settled in for another week of e-learning from home, I was thinking this morning about time. Time is a very funny concept at the moment. I can't believe there's just a few weeks left of this school year.
Time flies, and at the same time I keep having the feeling we live the same Groundhog Day over and over again. Looking back, it's hard to pinpoint things in time, because it feels like the past 1,5 years have been some kind of parallel life, or like someone pushed the pause button, and everything just slowed down to almost a stand-still.

The other day I was scrolling through the Photos app on my computer in search of a specific photo, and all of a sudden realised how much I had to scroll just to get through one month of normal times! I had forgot how busy life used to be, compared to how it is now.
We do still try to put a silver lining on life, but it feels like when we are "being busy" it's all just an illusion. It might be because we have gotten used to such a slow tempo this past year and a half, that any happening - even the smallest - is a huge mood lifter. But busy, no we are not. Far from it. Time just... passes in some funny kind of way.
One day at a time still. One week of e-learning at a time...

Idling

Most days I feel like I'm just idling along. Waiting for... something to happen. I feel like a car that starts every morning, but goes nowhere. Like one of those cartoon figures that runs on the spot.

It's getting frustrating that there is no change in the restrictions happening here, although a great majority of the population is now vaccinated. Like in many countries in Europe, where people who are vaccinated show their "vaccine pass" and basically get free reign anywhere, or in other places with an accelerated vaccination drive where they have even now dropped the use of face masks.

In Abu Dhabi we are still not allowed to socialize at home, still only allowed three people in a taxi, four people per table at restaurants; we all still need PCR-tests to enter official buildings, go to school or to work (vaccinated or not!), still have to wear a mask everywhere. The borders to Abu Dhabi are still closed and the entrance procedure hasn't changed since the first of February. No difference if you are vaccinated or not, the 10-day-with-a-tracker-quarantine rules still apply (unless you travel from a country on the "Green list").

I'm sure there is a reopening plan, it just doesn't seem to be shared officially. I wish it was, like in other places. I am failing badly at staying positive in this "one day at a time"-life without anything to hold on to.
I know it can't go on forever, but it sure has gone on long enough already.

Best week in a long time

Oh yeah, as you might understand with school opening again after very near to a full year of e-learning for Linnea - this week rates VERY high on my list of good weeks, probably the best actually! I have felt such deep relief, and gratitude, and joy.
Yes, I must admit, I was probably the one being the absolute happiest about the change in schooling circumstances, I think I even shed a bit of a tear dropping the kids off the other day... But the kids do belong in school, learning face-to-face, spending time with their friends - not at home alone in front of endless Zoom-sessions on their computers... This week was a good week and now we hope it'll only get better from here and the schools will stay open from now on.

I realised I now should stop the "Corona Diary", as I have counted that since the last day the kids had of real school last year, the 5th of March 2020, and now school is finally back!
Covid is nowhere over for sure, but apart from that small detail of 10 days quarantine = no tourists = no work for me (...) - things are rather close to normal now. At least, normal enough. I can live with the social distancing, the regulations and restrictions on different activities, wearing masks and having PCR-tests every now and then. That school would open again was the big thing we were all waiting for.

I will miss my diary though, I have enjoyed wrapping up each day and to be able to look back at what we have done, or not done. Also to be able to see what we had for dinner every night, ha ha! Yesterday by the way was cauliflower rice, Greek keftedes and baked feta-and-tomato smash; and tonight we are having citrus cod with potatoes, zucchini and corn on the cob. Might even celebrate the week, the weekend, the school opening and living life with a few G&Ts! Cheers!

The snowball effect

I have been feeling SO low this past week, without no particular or immediate reason. Just feels like I'm spiraling slowly into a big black hole, the tears have been many.
It's hard to describe these feelings to people who are not in a similar situation, or even to yourself sometimes. But today I managed to put words to all my feelings in a conversation with a friend, and I thought I'd share them with you.

I've written about this "Coronacoaster" before, and maybe it is because my social feeds are currently full of snowy landscapes from back home, but this time I want to paint a picture of the feelings being like a snowball.

You see, there is not a lot that makes me feel happy at the moment. I do try, and I do my best to cheer myself up, but even that becomes tiring after nearly a year of this isolated, still-standing life.
Sure, I am grateful we can still do sport, to play padel twice a week is a real highlight for me. The other daily exercise I do is more of a necessity to keep some sort of sanity, rather than something that brings me joy. Other than that, unless I plan to catch up with friends (which doesn't happen near as much as I would like), there is not much else going on, and there is certainly no way you can dream and plan about things in the future, as nobody knows how it will look like.
So there aren't really enough positives to weigh up all the negatives at the moment. Instead my mood is turning increasingly bad by the day, which is not making it any easier to "look on the bright side".

So where does the snowball come in?
I look at it this way: all those bad things - could be any negative news, annoying things the family does, the continuous changes in restrictions, worries about the kids, the Groundhog Day feeling, stupid posts in my feeds and so on, it doesn't stop. Each thing on their own is actually rather small, and mostly nothing to be upset about. But, when they accumulate it's like a snowball rolling down a hill, growing bigger and bigger by adding issue after issue after issue to it; and the irritation, sadness and anger finally just takes over.
That's about where I am at the moment, dealing with this huge snowball of negativity, which just seems to keep rolling and keep growing. It's consuming my whole being.

I know I'm not alone in this, which in a way makes it all even more depressing. It's tough times for so many. I can't wait until this Covid-nightmare ends, but at the same time I wonder what will be left of me by then.

The New Normal?

I guess we are not the only ones who have been watching a lot more TV than normal these days, or rather this year. One thing that strikes me watching all these series that were made pre-Covid, is how much people all touch each other - well, normally. Shaking hands, hugging, cheek kissing, high-fiving etc etc. Seeing that, and people in big groups, really close to each other, kind of make me shiver and shrug a bit each time at the moment.

It certainly is different times now, we have a "new normal" to relate to. I wonder a lot about how many of our adapted habits will change forever? Maybe hand-shaking will never come back but the fist-bump-hello will stay instead for example? Will this "new normal" become the normal-normal?

In our house we have a box by the door with all the things you need on a daily basis now when you leave the house. It's not just "wallet, keys and phone" anymore, it's also "mask, hand sanitizer and gloves". We have spare masks and wipes in the cars and in our bags.

If entering someone else's house, the very first thing we do always is ask for the bathroom, to go wash our hands. We say hello to our friends by waving at each other and stay and sit at a safe distance from each other at all times, whether in or out. I have really changed my behavior and I must admit if someone gets too close to me, I do get a bit uncomfortable now!
My house has (even more than before) turned into my safe haven, and being at home with my family is where I feel completely at ease and think of none of the above. My safe bubble.

I have also been thinking about this terminology that previously was not really needed and all the "new" words in our vocabulary, like lock-down, social distancing, quarantine, e-learning, community spread, Zoom, N95, key worker etc. It's interesting to note how we have all become experts in statistics, we know the difference between an epidemic vs a pandemic, what antibodies do, what a super-spreader is and why it's important to "flatten the curve".
Add to these words also all this new slang that have been popping up, words that have morphed and changed in meaning and been added to the common vocabulary. Have you heard about the coronapocalypse, covidiots, the 'rona', the coronacoaster, quarantinis, mascne or coronacations for example? All so innovative, being a bit of a linguistic nerd, it's actually quite fun to notice these developments!

I do wonder though how we will remember this time in the future; and especially what the kids will remember from this time. Hopefully that we spent a lot of time together, in a positive way.
That life was smaller, in a good way. And slower. And that what mattered was the little things.
Maybe the "new normal" isn't that bad?

1st October 2020 COVID status

Congratulations, we have reached level 10 of this Jumanji year! Or if you wish, the month of October. I wonder what this month will bring, I'm hoping for better and better news. The weather at least is getting better for sure, winter is coming and it feels so good to feel the cool air! It really helps the mood!

Time for a Covid check-in - I will only write about new regulations, happenings or changes. Most things are the same as last time I did a status.

* 1,158 new cases today, from 91,234 tests. The UAE has now conducted close to 9,8M tests since the outbreak of the pandemic. Today's total number of infected is 95,348, with 421 deaths. Global cases stand at 34M+ with now over 1M deaths. These statistics gets reported in the media daily.
* They have started administrating a vaccine here, developed in China, where the phase 1 and 2 of trials were conducted. Phase 3 was carried out here in Abu Dhabi on volunteers and now the vaccine has been approved to be used by frontline health workers, to start with.
* After starting the term with four weeks of e-learning, the students in Grade 11 and 12 were allowed back to physical school again this week, yay.
* The same day the announcement was made about only certain grades being allowed back to school, it was also announced that indoor play lands, bounce parks and gaming arcades would now be allowed to open. ("No kids, you can't go to school, but you can go play in the ball pit at the mall"...hmmm...)
* Quarantine is still in place for overseas arrivals into the emirate. Now with the added touch of a tracker watch which gets fitted at the airport, or at the border if you arrive through Dubai. You have to wear the tracker 24/7 during the quarantine period, have another PCR test on day 12 and if negative the it gets removed on day 14.

The great divide

This week I found one of the posts in my Instagram-feed particularly well written and spot on. It really hit right home with me. It was written by one of the fellow expat-spouses here in Abu Dhabi, about one aspect of this whole situation that is really hard to deal with - the different views, and more importantly - experiences, of this whole COVID-situation, and how it comes to affect friendships.

You would think that a crisis like this would bring us all together, but it seems to go the opposite way. 

There is massive differences in how all different countries deal with this virus, and this has brought on a lot of judgmental comments, heated discussions and debates. Both officially between countries who fight over statistics, numbers and the wear or not of face-masks for example; but also personally with my friends.
The fact is that this crisis is far from over, and nobody can tell (yet - or maybe ever!) who did the right thing, which country was more reactive, who had the best safety measures etc.
One thing is for sure, there are no "winners" in this situation.
We all just need to get through it, but we are all experiencing it differently. Sometimes depending on where we live and the restrictions of that place, same storm - different boats and all that; sometimes it's basically down to our own attitude.

I feel like I have had a personality change during this past half a year+, or maybe it is just my real personality coming through now once everything else is peeled away, and nothing much is left but the very, very basic - but I'm a pessimistic bugger. I used to think I was a realist, but if there is one thing I've realized is that I'm a glass-half-empty kind of person. Yes, my attitude seriously lacks of positivity. I try, I do, to look at the bright side, enjoy the small things, focus on what I can do etc - but I mostly suck at all that and revert back to just thinking it all just stinks.
Maybe this is why I have always surrounded myself with the eternally optimistic types, I have realized many of my friends fit that category actually. I guess opposites attract? But at the moment I am not able to see them, and I feel like we are drifting apart - because of the distance and because our different experiences, the great divide. I have started to wonder if they'll still be there when this is all over. I sure hope so, but I'm worried I'll get out of this crisis lonelier than ever.